Open Letter to Tina Fey

Dear Tina FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYY!
        (said in an awkward white girl impression of Oprah)

I write this having just seen the live episode of "30 Rock" (yes, I know -- it's a few weeks late; but hey I have a life) and am in complete awe of your genius.

Yes, Tina Fey, you are indeed a genius.  A genius of the modern day comedy.  Your humour (by the way - in Canada we like to put lots of the letter "U" in words such as: humour and neighbour; but not in the case of words like: alligator, Terminator, Legislator) wit and timing far surpass your contemporaries and I only wish that I had a daughter as a teenager so that she could one day grow up and want to be you; for I fear I am just a wee to old for that.

How do you do it Tina Fey?  Week after week, endlessly riffing off the insanity of a cast of characters you create who seem to have a boundless extension into the realm of ridiculous that is neither trite, or unbelievable?

I am in awe.  Pure awe.

The bar has been set too high.

I must admit after watching "Baby Mama", I was unaware of the lurking genius silently seeping through your veins.  But I now stand corrected, and believe that "Baby Mama" was probably a perfectly good script that went through the rigours (see there's another "U" -- don't be confused) of studio execs more concerned with adhering to the latest research audience report than actually using common sense to allow the funny to flow the way God intended: through your mouth and onto the page.

To be completely fair, I have not seen "Date Night".

Do you speak out loud when you write, Tina Fey?  I don't.  That would be weird, right?  Although everyone has their process...

***(passage of time)***

I have just looked you up on imdb, and it seems you did not write "Baby Mama" which would explain my confusion; and you also did not write "Date Night" so I probably won't be watching that one.   You did, however, write "Mean Girls" and I now wonder if your brilliance was just too much for poor Lindsay Lohan to cope with -- having never really come back from that calibre of success.

But Lindsay is young.  And the public quickly forgets...

Why am I writing you?  you might be saying to yourself right about now...

The answer is not quick and simple.  Could it be partly because I was too shy to write letters to New Kids on the Block because I felt inferior behind my headgear?  Perhaps. 

I try not to over-analyse anything I do.  I find it's mind numbing and counter-productive.  Don't you?

I believe on a "conscious" level I am writing because I am in awe of your comedic brilliance, but on a "sub-conscious" level it could be because I want to be your friend, or I have a delusional aspect to my ego that I have yet to deal with in therapy.  But I will never know, because it is, 'subconscious' by definition.  (did you notice all the "U"s in those big words?  Do you feel more affinity towards your neighbours to the north now?)

Oh Tina Fey, how I envy you.  How I hope to be you (well, "you" in the metaphorical sense because only "You" can be "you", and I would much rather follow the path that I'm destined to be on, however meh-tah-phor-ickly speaking, I would love to enjoy the same calibre of success and contribute the same quality of programming to the airwaves; which we don't have anymore, so I guess I mean digital streams?)

BRAVA Tina Fey!

BRAVA!

The bar has been raised very high, and I will endeavour (there's another "U", don't be alarmed) to jump up and down repeatedly until I almost grasp at it with the tips of the fingers on my right hand, because I think my left arm is slightly shorter -- but I'm not completely positive about that.

Your fan,
Karen

Original Voice

Sometimes we need to learn things again...and again...and again.

It's hard when you get caught up in the whirlwind frenetic clusterf**k of deal making.  One Exec wants this.  Another Exec wants that.  And in the middle of this tornado of confusion, one can very easily be sucked into the vortex and spit out 200 miles above where they originally wanted to be.

So here's the deal.  Remember, when things get crazy and you start to lose sight of what you're trying to accomplish; remember that YOU are the commodity.  You are that rare gem.  A pearl.  Refined under pressure.  Unique.  Self contained.

Your voice, imagination, and the filter with which you express them are as unique as a finger print.  The fabric of who you are and how you see the world is encoded in the essence of your being.  So, when things get crazy -- and you're standing in the eye of the storm, remember to ground your feet and reconnect with who you are.  From there comes your anchor power, your strength, your marketable commodity.  It can't be shaken.  Bent (perhaps to a degree) but not altered.

Remember, "they" want to capitalize on your voice -- so your number one goal is to not stray from it; no matter how difficult or overwhelming negotiations might become.  Trust me. 

Could you imagine a Judd Apatow being told to be campier?  Or Simon Pegg being told to be less self-deprecating?  Or Ricky Gervais being told not to trampoline on the societal norms?

Well, I'm sure at some point they were all told this.  But their success came from being true to themselves.  Holding onto the uniqueness of their voice and perspective, no matter what they were confronted with. 

And, because of this, we have a much richer array of stories to delight us.

Just a little something to think about.


This song was in my head:

It's a Monday

I can already tell it's a Monday.  There's renovations going on in my bathroom, my computer has been on the fritz all day...and I'm nowhere near where I want to be on some revisions I'm suppose to be doing.

And I have a meeting shortly.

So, what's my point?

There is none; except -- for some strange reason, this song seems to be playing repeatedly in the b.g. while this day progresses.

Thought I'd share:

The Hero's Journey

I was having drinks with a very smart Development Exec for a major network last night and she told me that she can always tell when a writer is coming from a place of autobiography in their scripts; which is:

THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING TOO STRENUOUS TO THEIR MAIN CHARACTER/S.

Remember:  A HERO needs to overcome something. 

We need to be able to root for them.

Solving and resolving on screen is essential.  Otherwise, it's a boring narrative and nobody gives a rat's ass.

So...allow your imagination to soar.  It's just words on a page after all.  It won't hurt you.  You won't die.  And you might just come out with some KICK A** moments that could make the difference between getting greenlit or not.

Comprende?


Characters need to grow on screen. 

That is the crux of any story:  Something happened to somebody.

A good story is about something significant and life changing happening to someone we CARE about.

And we care about them because we've watched them go through something horrible.

So be a HERO and write a HERO.

It's explained well in the video below.  Enjoy!

Your Brain is a muscle too you know

Yeah Yeah, I know.  I can hear you now. 

You haven't written in days...

To be honest, I haven't written HERE in days.  And for a good reason. 

Good Reason:  I was friggen BUSY.

And in the midst of my whirlwind of chaos, I found myself having a conversation with another writer friend who was going through burnout.  She was tired.  Irritable. 

She was also beating herself up for not continuing to write, even though she has just come off a streak of finishing a couple of features.

So, this post could also be labelled as 'How to deal with burnout'.

Burnout out is inevitable.

Especially if you're creative.  Because, as a Creative, the burnout happens in the muscle that controls the way you see the world.  The muscle that determines your perspective, your moods, your overall sense of being.

That muscle is your brain.  And when it is tired from running a marathon of sorts (ie. writing a full-length feature in record time), it needs rest.

The last thing you should ever do is try to write again.  And part of being in the midst of burnout is being susceptible to thoughts from a tired brain.  Thoughts that make you anxious, or tell you that you need to write.

Thoughts that will play on your guilt like a Jewish mother yearning for grandchildren.

So, what you need to do is STOP.

Simply stop.

And rest.

Because until your brain has fully recouped from the marathon you've put it under, you won't feel like doing much of anything. 

And the last thing you want to do is circle the drain with the internal struggle of feeling that you don't want to do anything and thinking that you should.

It's counterproductive.  A time waster.  And just plain dumb.

Creative types often succumb to the anxiety of not creating.  But what they don't realize, is that their brain needs to rest too.  It needs plenty of sleep.  A hot bath or two.  Maybe a few nights out with friends.  It needs to recharge.  Reengage with the world.  It needs to be nurtured so it/you can feel happy.

I told my friend that if she were running a marathon, she wouldn't at the end, after months of training and 26 miles; legs exhausted as if they couldn't take another step -- and lungs burning for air... she wouldn't immediately fire up and start running another marathon.

That would seem ridiculous, right?

The muscles would need to take a break.  Soak in hot water.  Perhaps even do very little exercise for a few days.

And, after running that marathon, it would seem absurd to start to doubt your abilities as a runner because your legs were tired, right?

Are you following me?

I'm talking to you Mr. Creative-type who doesn't understand why he only wants to watch reruns of 'Deep Space Nine' for the next 48 hours.

Yes, you!

Your Brain is a muscle too you know.  So treat it that way.  Give it a break between assignments.  You'll find that a rest will immediately improve your mood (and your outlook) and make you less likely to cry naked in a corner reaching for an empty box of Kleenex while you watch Ghost for the 15th time.

Be nice to your brain, it needs you too.

And so, after offering this sage advice wrapped in a marathon metaphor, I chose to slow myself down just a wee bit.  Because burnout is a treacherous experience -- and if I can at all avoid it by pacing myself accordingly; then I'm already half-way through to the finish line.

OK.  Enough with the running metaphors.

Just remember -- if you're feeling down after busting out a script, or a lot of writing, chances are your brain needs a hot bath and a few beers with friends.

It really is as simple as that.

And for the record;

No.  You are not the worst writer ever born.  You are not a fake.  You are not 'never' going to make it.  You are not wasting your time.

Go call a friend.

I promise you, you'll feel better if you do.





 

How to deal with Rejection

Let's face it; Rejection is a smelly cu*t with herpes -- but if you want to be a content creator, it's something you're going to have to deal with.

That means:

• No angry retaliations with an AK-47
• No dismissal of the feedback as 'that guy's an idiot' or other similar thoughts
• No taking it personally that someone doesn't want to invest a lot of money in an idea you have
• No quitting
• No badmouthing people who don't share your creative vision

Rejection is part of the process.  And part of being a good writer is learning how to deal with it.  When I first started out I took it very personally. 

How could they not believe in me?
Know this will be the next great thing? 
Want to bang down my door to be a part of it?


I'd let it weigh me down; sometimes walking away from a project for months at a time.  But that was years ago.  This week alone I've gotten three rejection letters; and instead of crying naked in a corner I brush it off.


Here's why:


Making a television show or film requires a lot of time, energy, and PASSION.  And there is NO POINT in teaming up with people who aren't as passionate about the project as you are.  So if you're shopping something around and no one is biting; just be grateful that you don't have to work with people who aren't really crazy about it.


Seriously. 


There's nothing worse than being on a show and having to work with people who put it down, are negative, and are more or less toxic to work with.  I've had the unfortunate pleasure of having to deal with that throughout my career and the last thing I want is to have someone like that on board one of my shows.


It just doesn't make any sense.


Rejection is momentary.  It's one person's opinion. 


The industry is filled with hundreds -- thousands of people who might have a different opinion.  Opinions that could be more in line with yours. 


So chin up buttercup.  It's not the end of the world.  It's just a little ripple that will eventually lead you to people who are more like minded.


One of the saddest things I see is people who have no faith in themselves and end up giving up too soon.  If you are serious about having a career, then that is a LIFETIME INVESTMENT.  It won't happen over night, but if you persevere, it will happen. 


I promise you.


I remember when I was shooting outside of Pittsburgh someone told me a story about rejection that I've always held with me. 


Here goes:


Pittsburgh and it's surrounding towns used to be the centre of the Steel industry back in the day.  Anyhow, when the Steel plants started closing; panic became widespread amongst the workers of the plant.  One plant in particular in Homestead, PA had a really tragic incident.  The day that pink slips were being handed out to the workers, the manager of the plant became despondent and hung himself outside of his office that evening after everyone had left.  Having worked in the plant his entire life, he couldn't go home to face his wife.  He couldn't imagine being unemployed.  He had no idea what he would do with the rest of his life, and so, in a moment of despair he hung himself rather than face the trials of unemployment, finding a new purpose, etc.


When they found his body the next morning, they noticed that he hadn't opened his envelope.  It was still sealed in the breast pocket of his work shirt.  When they opened the envelope, the letter inside was not a pink slip -- but rather, a notice of transfer to a different plant.  This man was not losing his job, but being rewarded for his hard work and dedication.


Sadly, he lost faith in himself and never realized this.


So -- the point is: rejection can only devastate you as much as you let it.  You don't know what opportunity/meeting/idea will spawn out of the rejection.  So DON'T let it debilitate you.  Use it to fuel you forward with more determination and purpose.


That is the key to success.


Otherwise, you're just hanging yourself too soon and for no good reason.

.

Coming Up For Air

And Breathe....

Note to self:  Do not start blog when you are swamped with other things.

Additional note to self:  Fructose is at the centre of our obesity epidemic in North America.

OK ~ I'm already digressing.

So, here's the thing:  No one can teach you to write.  It's a verified fact.  Maybe you know, your Grade 3 teacher can teach you penmanship; but that's not writing per se.

(I can hear the daggers being flung towards me as I type this)

Let me clarify:

No one can teach you to be a good writer....except for one person.  Yourself.

You can take all the courses you want, study every script ever written, make detailed outlines of every movie ever made -- but if you aren't on board to correct and improve upon yourself along the way; well, sorry to say it just won't happen.

To be a good writer you need two things: talent and tenacity.  And both require an extra-ordinary amount of work to keep them both engaged and productive.

Being a writer isn't just about being able to tell a good story.  It's so much more than that.  It's about being able to tell a good story, to market yourself, to always be willing to improve, to have an extra-ordinary level of faith and belief in yourself (and your work), and to persevere.  Always. 

Then, maybe you might have a chance.

Being a good writer is about learning from your mistakes, recognizing your true voice and being able to capitalize on it.  It's about networking, understanding trends, and above all the ability to use your words to engage others around you.

And, if I were being completely honest, it's about recognizing that you aren't meant to do anything else and that you'll pursue it until you see the results no matter how long that takes.

Actually, this little rant just made me think of a post I should write about the fallacies associated with being a writer.

I'll add that to my To Do list.

For now, just chew on what I've said -- and be prepared to work REAL hard if you want to optimize the potential within you. 

It's possible. 

You just have to want it bad enough.

And now a little ELO to motivate you....

The X-Files

If it wasn't for Chris Carter, I don't know that I would be doing what I'm doing right now.  It's true.  The X-Files changed everything I previously thought a Television show should be.  For me, it was an interactive experience.  I got sucked in.  I was completely obsessed with Fox Mulder and his plight.  The sub-plots were amazing.  The mythology was unreal.  I bought it all, hook line and sinker.  Just ask my roommates at the time.

I loved the show so much, that when the network would re-loop new episodes three hours later, I would stay up and watch it again.

To date, I think, The X-Files is the best example of any Procedural show on Television.  Hands downs. 

Chris Carter is a genius.  And not so much for his story telling abilities, but I think I would venture as far to say that, first and foremost, this is a guy who gets what an audience wants.  What an audience needs.

A place to escape.

You craft a believable world with strong story lines and loveable characters, and well, you're set for life.  Literally. 

For me, the X-Files was what every broadcaster dreams of; appointment television.  I would race home on Sunday from wherever I was to catch the 9pm show.  At a friend's cottage?  Well, I was beating the traffic and speeding down the highway home in time to catch it.

But Karen, why couldn't you just tape it?

Aha!  Seems rational enough.  Tape it, and enjoy a few more hours on a lake sipping beers.  But no!  I was so in love with the show that the thought of missing it created a swell of anxiety in me so deep that even though the VCR was set, I couldn't risk it.  What if the tape got caught?  What if there was a mini blackout earlier in the day and the settings were off?

It could happen....

And so, inevitably, from wherever I was on planet Earth; come 9pm I was plunked in front of my TV anxiously waiting to see if The Men in Black would appear, or if the writers would finally tell us what the fuck happened to Samantha.

Brilliant.

And, for that reason.  Because of that experience, I chose to enter into the  cut-throat world of Television.  Because I wanted to write a show that people could sink their teeth into, like how Chris Carter created one for me.

It's my life's mission.

It may take a few million rejection letters, failed pitches, and tireless kicks at the can;  but I know that I'll get there.  It may not happen for another 10 years... or it could happen tomorrow, but one thing is for certain: as long as I stick with it, the opportunity will present itself. 

One day, when the stars are all aligned.

And, in the meantime, I'll keep slugging away,  because tenacity disintegrates failure.

And failure, for me, has never been an option.

So you wanna be a writer?

 

Really?  Are you sure about this?

Are you prepared to enter full isolation? Lose friends? Avoid Family?

 

I'm being serious.  Dead serious.

Myself, I'm an extreme extrovert.  In fact, that probably isn't even giving credit to how much I actually feed off of other people's energy.  ENTJ according to Myers Briggs.

So, when I actually decided to COMMIT (operative word) to becoming a writer it was a painful, bloody process.  I sat at my desk and cried from the lack of external stimulation.  I watched my weight go up in increments of 10lbs at a time.  The external world drifted away from me.  Current events came and went and I was unaware because...

I was hanging out in my own world.  Writing.  Creating.  And trying very hard to discipline myself to sit for hours on end EVERY DAY putting words on a page.

I saw an interview the other day with Nia Vardalos who pretty much validates everything I am saying, and if I can find it, I'll post it at the end of this entry.  She basically says that all writers (more or less) hate the process of writing.

It's true. 

I know the common myth is that writers enjoy the good life sipping lattes and hanging out in cafes; but that's not really been my experience.  My experience has been one that involves the mental prowess of a JEDI to tune out the world that I actually live in, in order to create a world that others can escape into.

Most of the writers I know spend their days cursing the day they chose to become a writer.  It's riddled with anxiety, looming deadlines, saying "no" to fun things like trips away, patios, and family events.  Case in point; in the past three weeks I've had to miss three birthdays, half a dozen patio invites, two family emergencies, a funeral, and umpteen phone calls.

I've seen the resurgence of camel toe in pants that used to hang off of me.  My official uniform is comfy house wear.  And glasses.

I am a sex kitten no longer.

And the only reason that I dive head first into this pit of chosen isolation?  Is because, I am a writer.  And to not write takes away the essence of who I'm meant to be.  To not write creates a deep swell of anxiety that is probably synonymous to that of a Heroine addict.

 

I have to write.  It keeps me sane.

 

So, ask yourself: are you prepared to give up everything you previously used to define yourself in order to immerse yourself in writing?  Because good writing takes time.

 

Good writing is not only the ability to consistently put words to a page.  Good writing is the mental ability to commit to the time and effort it takes to put those words to a page.  And the additional time and effort it takes to make those words the best they can be.

 

I often turn to my Writer friends and say, "Seriously?  Why did I chose to do this?" and they just look at me with a smirk because they get it.  "You're a Writer," they say back. 

 

And Writers write.

See what Nia has to say after the 07:30 mark on the same thing.

Overnight Success

Just wanted to do a little blurb about the fairy tale otherwise-known-as "overnight success" and the fact that there is no such thing.  So, I suppose this is unofficially Brief Entry #2.

There is no such thing as overnight success.

I'll say it again:

There is no such thing as overnight success.

Success comes from a spirit of humility, camaraderie, and appreciation.  It comes from having enough respect for your talent to hone it, nurture it, and commit to it.  Trust me.  It's an uphill never ending battle that ripples and retracts over the course of your career.  Especially so if you are in a creative field.

But what about Diablo Cody?

Oi veh!  Are you [expletive] kidding me?  Chicky spent ten years writing before she was 'discovered'.  It's true.  Look it up.  I don't have time to toil through the Internet to corroborate what I'm saying, but I'll stand by it. 

Here's the thing:

Opportunity + Preparation = Luck

So, I ask you:  what are you doing to prepare?

And now, a little ABBA because I saw Mamma Mia the other day and I love them!

Brief entry #1

My timing was a bit off when it came to actually having the time to write here.  But, like all shifting sands, that should change after mid next week.  In the meantime, for those of you who are interested in popping in for a view, I'll be posting brief entries.

 

Brief entry #1:

 

This song was in my head.  Enjoy!

which reminded me of one of my favourite movies as a kid...



Is there anything better than Olivia Newton-John?
(rhetorical question people)

And now...back to the trenches.

Victim Mentality

There's a lot of whining going on in the entertainment industry these past couple of weeks.  Former Hells Angel vs. 'Sons of Anarchy' creator Kurt Sutter.  Nicollette Sheridan vs. ABC and 'Desperate Housewives' creator Marc Cherry.  But the weirdest happens to be a little story about a niece in Vegas suing her Hollywood producer Aunt and Uncle for making a movie more or less based on her crappy life.

 

According to THR, Esq. Alix Daily is suing Peter and Leslie Tolan of Capacity Pictures and producers of the direct to DVD "Finding Amanda", for"

events [that] really happened, and that the character of Amanda looks, dressed, and behaved like Daily

 

Alix claims she suffered mental anguish and anxiety (loosely paraphrased) from the distress she encountered upon learning of the release of the movie.  You can read about it in specific detail here if you're into legal stuff.

Let's shelve that for a second so I can impress you with my story telling skills and wrap these suckers up all nice and pretty at the end.

Quick transition to:

Kurt Sutter, superhero to all writers and ASS KICKER of the year.  Seriously, I love this guy.  If he ever walks down the aisle for the 4th time I'm so taking the plunge.  The backstory, for those who don't know, is that a guy who used to be on the Sopranos (or something like that) came up with an idea for a show, pitched it to FX and 3 or 4 years later Sutter's "Sons of Anarchy" was greenlit.  NOW:

Anyone who has ever created a show or pitched a show knows how nerve wracking it is the first time you have to sign over that release waiver that says (more or less) that if they ever come up with the same show in the future, you can't sue them.

Obviously buddy from 2004 did not read his little waiver. 

What I love about how Kurt responded was that he basically gave a big "FUCK YOU" to the guy and said that even if he had pitched the exact same show (which he didn't), the network is going to buy the more developed concept.  The one where there's a mythology.  A world.  Character Arcs.  To loosely quote every working writer in the northern hemisphere:  It is not the idea, it's THE EXECUTION of the idea.  And in the case of "SOA", according to Kurt, he has the better idea.  I have to quote this guy because he's just so raw and kick ass:

It's that time of year again. Where a disgruntled ex-biker decides that Sons of Anarchy was in fact his idea. This one, from the half-talent of Chuck Zito, former NYC HA and Oz actor. He slapped FX with a 5 million dollar breach suit, claiming that the idea he came up with over 12 years ago and pitched 6 years ago was "similar" to SOA. I know at this point I shouldn't even waste the keyboard moves, but I feel like I have to comment because Zato has reached out to that ultimate news source, TMZ, so now his bullshit has gone viral.

[stuff that's unimportant to me so I cut it out for entertainment purposes]

HAVING THE FUCKING IDEA IS NOT THE SHOW. THERE HAVE BEEN DOZENS OF OUTLAW MOTORCYCLE TV DRAMAS PITCHED IN THE LAST TEN YEARS. NONE OF THEM HAS MADE IT TO SERIES, EXCEPT SOA. BECAUSE THEY SUCKED. The same way there were dozens of mob family pitches before the Sopranos and crime scene pitches before CSI.

[more stuff I don't give a shit about]

[And finally...]

once, in 2004, I was in the lobby of AMC and complained to someone's assistant that there was a guy in the parking lot acting like a "mad man". Fuck... AMC and Matt Weiner stole my idea. Clearly I came up with the concept for Mad Men.

 

 

Kurt I love you!  For so many reasons, but mostly because you defended your work.  I was watching a round table discussion online that had some Showrunners in it and Seth McFarlane said something along the lines that he is always approached by people who say "I have a friend who has an idea and they're looking for a good writer", and he just shakes his head. 

Because: [newsflash] the idea isn't complete/worth anything/really yours until you develop it. 

So, do I feel sorry for the guy from Oz who felt shafted by Sutter and Fx?

Ish. 

I mean, he's obviously not a writer for so many reasons:

a) he could have taken his idea to other broadcasters

b) after it was rejected he could have revised it and re-pitched it (to other broadcasters)

c) he could have done all that he could to get it made, until he eventually had to aquiesce and move on to the next project.

The only reason I feel sorry for not-really-a-writer-guy from Oz,  is because he's probably unaware of this.

And because Kurt Sutter will kick his ass.

KURT I LOVE YOU!!!

Now, in a tight race for ridiculous (code word for crazy) is Nicollette Sheridan.  Least favourite and most problematic of the cast (I'm assuming).  We all know a Nicollette, don't we?  Someone who thinks they're the centre of the Universe and feels personally offended every time something doesn't go exactly their way?

Come on!

Now, if there is any meritt to her claim I will retract what I've said and apologize.  But I doubt it.  Highly doubt it.  People show you who they really are over time.  Case in point, after the pilot aired and the numbers did well, Nicollette was the first on ET whining about how she doesn't have a car like the cast of Friends did when they were number one.

OK.  Seriously.  This biotch is a Producers worst nightmare.  And if it wasn't for the fact that Marc Cherry had just crawled out of his mother's basement where he festered for two years prior to casting; I highly doubt he would have had such a hard on for a washed up Soap actress from the 80s.

Attention all Talent! (Yes, I mean you!) Here's a little tidbit for you.  It's free.  Use it:  It doesn't matter how talented you are.  We don't want to work with you if you're difficult.  Just remember.  We are COMPLETELY CAPABLE of recognizing talent, and nurturing it to replace you.  Don't forget this.  We don't.

See also: Lindsay Lohan.

Cool?

So, Marc Cherry having seen better days aside, it's now time to assess the three crazies.  And I have to say that I think Alix Daily (God, I love her name) takes the cake.  Quite sadly, because I actually think she might certifiably be crazy.

Why?

One second:  KURT I LOVE YOU!!!

Here's the thing:

Alix Daily is probably the craziest of the three, because she (quite possibly according to the court of me) actually had a legitimate claim.  One without reasonable doubt (at least from what I could tell, but I'm not a lawyer).

So, did she sue for 5 million like buddy from Oz?  Or 20 million like Nicollette?  No.  She didn't sue in the millions.  In fact, when I read the document I had to look twice just to make sure I wasn't reading it wrong.

She only sued for 10K.  Yep.  That's it.  The one with the most claim asking for the least amount of money.  Poor Alix.  Maybe once this is all said and done, her Uncle will take her out for lunch or something.

And now for the trailer to the movie that nobody saw! (woo hoo!!)